For the last few weeks I've been invited to join a group of four attractive women at my local pub for the quiz night. They only know me in my male role as yet. However, last time I joined them we splashed out on a couple of bottles of rosé wine, our team did well and we were happy and pleased at the end of the evening. So they declared me an "honorary babe"!
Now, if I was a man I'd be embarrassed or irritated at the remark. In fact, I am totally delighted. It's a bit like being awarded an honorary degree!
Maybe it won't be long before they accept me as Sue, as much a babe as any cute natal girl.
Sue x
A day out at last
I haven't been out doing my usual kind of shopping and socialising for three weeks, mainly because of work, and I was getting a bit desperate. Fortunately I managed to meet up with my friend Joanne for a relaxed lunch at Boulevard in Wellington St, Covent Garden.
Mixed salad starter, tasty cold trout fillet and perfect potato salad, followed by a very smooth chocolate tart. The white rioja was quite lemony and went very well with the fish. The service was friendly and good and the bill came out at what I call mid-price (about £30). Recommended.
London was relatively quiet - maybe people are leaving their return from holiday till the last minute. We parted company after a bit of browsing in shops and I strolled slowly to the National Gallery which I haven't visited for a while, and never before in girl mode. There's something about 15th century Italian painting that's very calming - everything seems so still, even the scenes of tragedy.
I went home reasonably early and was pleasantly surprised by a man at my local station who asked me, "Do you have a cigarette, love?" I don't smoke so couldn't oblige (just as well as he was pretty scruffy) and that was the end of our conversation, but it seemed somewhat affirming.
Back to work tomorrow, my last full-time week, which I'm glad of. But it was good to get out and about at last.
Sue x
Mixed salad starter, tasty cold trout fillet and perfect potato salad, followed by a very smooth chocolate tart. The white rioja was quite lemony and went very well with the fish. The service was friendly and good and the bill came out at what I call mid-price (about £30). Recommended.
London was relatively quiet - maybe people are leaving their return from holiday till the last minute. We parted company after a bit of browsing in shops and I strolled slowly to the National Gallery which I haven't visited for a while, and never before in girl mode. There's something about 15th century Italian painting that's very calming - everything seems so still, even the scenes of tragedy.
I went home reasonably early and was pleasantly surprised by a man at my local station who asked me, "Do you have a cigarette, love?" I don't smoke so couldn't oblige (just as well as he was pretty scruffy) and that was the end of our conversation, but it seemed somewhat affirming.
Back to work tomorrow, my last full-time week, which I'm glad of. But it was good to get out and about at last.
Sue x
I love a good wedding
I'm still on a high from last week's wedding which was probably the most enjoyable I've ever attended.
Yes, the setting was fabulous and there were lots of people I know there and there was cake and champagne and happy emotion. And that was all lovely.
But maybe what makes weddings really special is that everyone has scrubbed up well and are all wearing their best clothes. That's uncommon these days, which is something of a pity. There's a lot to be said for comfy leggings and loose tops, but an occasion calls for something altogether more attractive. Wedding guests' lovely dresses and their smart shoes are a joy to see, and a bride in her beautiful gown and perfect hair and flawless makeup on the happiest day of her life is something really special.
Am I superficial? Well, maybe. But all I know is, I love a good wedding.
Sue x
Yes, the setting was fabulous and there were lots of people I know there and there was cake and champagne and happy emotion. And that was all lovely.
But maybe what makes weddings really special is that everyone has scrubbed up well and are all wearing their best clothes. That's uncommon these days, which is something of a pity. There's a lot to be said for comfy leggings and loose tops, but an occasion calls for something altogether more attractive. Wedding guests' lovely dresses and their smart shoes are a joy to see, and a bride in her beautiful gown and perfect hair and flawless makeup on the happiest day of her life is something really special.
Am I superficial? Well, maybe. But all I know is, I love a good wedding.
Sue x
Online peer pressure
This year friends of mine have invited me to join many online sites such as Yahoo Messenger, Flickr, Badoo, Google+, TVChix, Roses... and, of course, a blogging site. Not to mention previous attempts to get me on Bebo, Myspace and various other 'cool' sites. And to get a smart phone, satnav, 10zillion channel digital TV, wifi, GPS ...
How much time is there in life to interact with all these things? Too little for those who have to work, which is why I choose not to have most of them.
But I've had to give in to the inevitable and use my Flickr account properly to put up some pictures, keep an eye on things and keep in touch with friends. There are just so many pictures of me online now that trying to keep control of my image is no longer possible. Don't get me wrong: I'm no diva, and I'm generally someone who likes to share, but I am still a private person and having the world gawping at me is not something I relish that much, especially when 'tranny admirers' and total strangers are free to leave creepy comments.
Still, that is the way of the world in the Twenty-Teens. In a few years' time, privacy will be back in fashion. For now, though, the proverbial Romans are doing this, and we should do as they do.
Sue x
How much time is there in life to interact with all these things? Too little for those who have to work, which is why I choose not to have most of them.
But I've had to give in to the inevitable and use my Flickr account properly to put up some pictures, keep an eye on things and keep in touch with friends. There are just so many pictures of me online now that trying to keep control of my image is no longer possible. Don't get me wrong: I'm no diva, and I'm generally someone who likes to share, but I am still a private person and having the world gawping at me is not something I relish that much, especially when 'tranny admirers' and total strangers are free to leave creepy comments.
Still, that is the way of the world in the Twenty-Teens. In a few years' time, privacy will be back in fashion. For now, though, the proverbial Romans are doing this, and we should do as they do.
Sue x
Removing the mask
I have been covering for staff holiday absence in my employed job, which has meant being out at work for all of the last two weeks, apart from going away for two days for a wedding. It was tiring but also, and more importantly, I felt obliged to spend all that time in public presenting as male because I am known by my male traits in those circles.
Although I have had to do this over a lifetime and wear the mask that keeps me safe from society’s disapproval – or my fear of it – it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to do this. I should be used to presenting as a man by now after so many decades. And indeed I am, but I don’t feel satisfied about having to do it. It’s an obligation, like doing the washing up or paying tax.
I’ve spent much of the last 15 months presenting myself to the world as a woman. By doing so I’ve learnt that I feel far happier, more relaxed and more humane as a woman, as I suspected I would. It’s inadvisable to rip off the male mask and just throw it away because the opposition and obstacles to my living as full-time female are many and would best be tackled one by one. Nevertheless, I know that the mask will gradually fade away, as though it were made of papier maché and was melting away in soft showers of femininity.
Sue x
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